Wednesday, January 9, 2008

God, I have started today miserably. Rather than waking up at a decent hour I slept in like a lazy man. I am lazy. And Father, I also confess that mornings are one of the most difficult times of my day especially for facing temptation. Today I am off to a less than honorable start for sure. So Father I commit the rest of my day, breath by breath, to You. Not to myself, the people around me, or their thoughts about me. Father I just pray that You would convict me of the choices I make and the attitude of my heart. My goal today is to honor You and actually spend time with You, not just spend time about You. Be with me today and rescue me from my sinful nature as only You can. It is for freedom's sake that I have been freed and freedom sounds so nice. Lord give me a heart of patience and compassion. Make me strong against temptation. Give me the desire to pursue You as I know You pursue me. Thank You for loving me so passionately and giving Your life for me. You are worthy of all my love and adoration. Thank You for your undying pursuit of making me like You - holy and loving. Thank You for showing me true love that I may show it to those around me. Lord, take control of all that I am.
Lord I admit that I am currently experiencing perhaps one of the most testing times of my life. I constantly feel as though my faith in You is being brought into question. Do I really believe that You are in control with all the in's and out's of my life? If so, do I really believe that You have my best interest in mind? Lord, in my heart I know that You are God. In light of that fact I must confess my pride and selfish nature. It should not matter if things are easy or pleasant at this point in my life. What should matter is Your glorification. My purpose in life is not to be successful, happy, responsible, or even "Christian", but instead to glorify You. Lord I must lay down my desires and plans. I need to take up You. I believe you would have me seek You instead of Your plan. I know that's how I feel with the people in my life. Obedience is better than sacrifice. Lord, I want to be obedient. I have daily regrets about my attitude and actions. I battle depression, laziness, and doubt. If, however, I would just spend my time with You and focusing on honoring You then my days would be different. The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Are these evident in my life? They would definitely be much more evident if I would forget about doing things my way and spend my life doing things Your way, the way of the Spirit. My new prayer is that I would seek hard after You and seek to be obedient breath by breath. Forgive me for making this about me instead of You. Jesus thank You for knowing that I needed your blood applied to make up for the sin in my life. Thank You for sacrificing Your life for my sin. I am after the freedom that only You can provide. Freedom.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Jesus, I am here. Please be the big, huge God that you are. I need you to take over in my life. I am through trying to control it and make it work out the way I see it should. I am unhappy doing things my way. I have tried and tried. My plans fall apart at the seams and nothing works as I want it to. Rather than proving to everyone how big of a Christian I am I think I am proving to myself how selfish and sinful I can be. Jesus thank you for always being within reach of my rescue. I believe you will catch me when I stumble. I believe you are faithful. Thank you for being true to your word. I need your help. Show me your way so that I may follow. I desire to be in your will Father. Thank you for humbling me and teaching me to rely on you instead of myself. You are everything that I will ever need and more. You are sustenance. You are life-blood. Jesus, only you can free me forever from the sin of this life. Take control and make me pure in your eyes. I pray that you would look on me and see your precious, pure blood applied to my heart. Father, I need you. Please take me and use me up until there is nothing left. You are. You are. You are. I am not, Lord, but You Are.