Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Lord I admit that I am currently experiencing perhaps one of the most testing times of my life. I constantly feel as though my faith in You is being brought into question. Do I really believe that You are in control with all the in's and out's of my life? If so, do I really believe that You have my best interest in mind? Lord, in my heart I know that You are God. In light of that fact I must confess my pride and selfish nature. It should not matter if things are easy or pleasant at this point in my life. What should matter is Your glorification. My purpose in life is not to be successful, happy, responsible, or even "Christian", but instead to glorify You. Lord I must lay down my desires and plans. I need to take up You. I believe you would have me seek You instead of Your plan. I know that's how I feel with the people in my life. Obedience is better than sacrifice. Lord, I want to be obedient. I have daily regrets about my attitude and actions. I battle depression, laziness, and doubt. If, however, I would just spend my time with You and focusing on honoring You then my days would be different. The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Are these evident in my life? They would definitely be much more evident if I would forget about doing things my way and spend my life doing things Your way, the way of the Spirit. My new prayer is that I would seek hard after You and seek to be obedient breath by breath. Forgive me for making this about me instead of You. Jesus thank You for knowing that I needed your blood applied to make up for the sin in my life. Thank You for sacrificing Your life for my sin. I am after the freedom that only You can provide. Freedom.

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